Thursday, January 31, 2013

Dumb Ass Spammers

Blogger does a good job of catching Spammers. The comments automatically go into a spam folder, where you can view them then either post them or send them into the web ether, where they’ll float around—invisible and unseen by anyone, except you— for eternity. That’s a good thing, otherwise your comment section could get cluttered with useless jargon that doesn’t even pertain to the post at hand, and you’d be wasting precious time trying to delete the annoying advertisements when you could be posting, reading or Flirting Playing With Non-Friends. However, there are just some spam comments, that are so freaken priceless, one simply cannot send them into the web ether without first sharing! What kind of Non-Friend would that make me?

 Over the past six months or so, my Happy Birthday Austin post has been inundated with Spammers. None of them make sense; they’re trolling for hits to their stupid-ass sites. But if I could respond to their dumb-as-they-come comments, this is what I’d say:

 Dumb Ass Spammer #1: Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read? Here is my web site - rid of acne

 If that’s all you have to say, then its apparent you have no intelligence. Because I don’t have a video on that post. Or any of my posts, for that matter. So, you’re just too damn dumb. And on another note, did you even LOOK at my son’s picture? Your web-site is to rid of acne. My kid doesnt have ONE pimple! Like I said, youre just too damn dumb...literally.

 Dumb Ass Spammer #2: I always spent my half an hour to read this weblogs content everyday along with a cup of coffee. My web blog - tattoo removal cream

 Holy crap! If you spend half an hour reading my blog EVERYDAY, you really need a life. Especially since you posted this on January 11, 2013 and I haven’t posted consistently since last July! And tattoo removal cream? Really? If I purchase that, do you have some swamp land in New York City I can buy, too? Because I just don’t have enough places to waste spend my money.

Dumb Ass Spammer #3: Thanks in support of sharing such a fastidious thought, article is nice, thats why i have read it completely Also visit my weblog tattoo removal cost

 Oh.Good.Gawd! Do you really think that because you utilized the word fastidious I would click your site? Did you bother to check your grammar? Because it sucks. I mean, dude, take a gander at the letter “i”. And where’s your punctuation? Where are the periods? Apostrophes? How about you forget the tattoo removal and go learn you some English?

  Dumb Ass Spammer #4: magnificent points altogether, you simply gained a new reader. What might you suggest in regards to your put up that you simply made a few days ago? Any sure? Review my homepage -

 Okay, wait. I don’t think I simply want to gain a new reader. Especially one who wants to sell me property in TURKEY! It’s only a bazillion miles from my family and, oh, near Syria and the Middle East, where it’s ON FIRE and crawling with fucking terrorists! And yeah, I’m very any sure!

  Dumb Ass Spammer #5: An impressive share! Ive just forwarded this onto a friend who has been doing a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner because I stumbled upon it for him... lol. So allow me to reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this matter here on your site. Feel free to surf my blog ::

 Really? Your friend is doing homework on MY sons birthday? And he bought YOU dinner because you stumbled onto my blog post? Wow, what the hell would he buy you, if, say, you stumbled into a worm hole? Let me rephrase that. lol. (And Im laughing AT you, not with you). You’re welcome. I like writing about MY son’s birthday. I guess because I was the one who carried him inside my body then pushed him out of my hoo-hah. Maybe your friend should buy ME dinner. Actually, I’ll take you leaving me alone as payment in full. 

 There you have it, guys and gals. Spammers who will try and leave hyper-links in your comment section regardless of whether it relates to your post or not.

 Feel free to poke fun at these dumb asses in MY comment section!



  1. " And he bought YOU dinner because you stumbled onto my blog post? Wow, what the hell would he buy you, if, say, you stumbled into a worm hole? "

    Bwhahahahahahahaha! HILARIOUS, Pam!!!!!

    And I agree, Blogger really does do a great job of catching spammers. What I used to do before I started using Disqus, is that I would close all the comments in my archives so that no one could leave any spammy comments. Now, with Disqus, I have it set up to automatically close each posts comments after 30 days. Yet, the spammers STILL send me spam via my email address.

    Great post, my friend!

    (((( You ))))


  2. Looks very similar to the kind of spam I get -- a hundred spam comments a day sometimes. The wording is designed to try to look like a real comment that will be allowed, regardless of what kind of post it's on -- but obviously it doesn't work very well. Very annoying that some people resort to this kind of "advertising".

  3. Lol sometimes I skim through my comment spam folder just for laughs. It blows my mind that people actually waste time and effort on such ridiculous, unsuccessful blabber. I've considered doing a post much like this one where I turn their comments into humorous entertainment. Great post :)


I *hart* comments!


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