Hi! It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. You know how it is. Work, husband, kids, dogs—what can I say? I’m totally blaming my lack of time management skills on other things. But those sound better, don’t they?
Anyway. I was going through my spam messages and realized I haven’t shared Idiot Spammers with you lately. That’s mighty rude of me. So I’ll be generous and spread the stupidity.
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Dear Design Entrepreneur, Hence, it’s apparent as a wart on a witch’s nose that you’re the one in dire need of schooling, not I. Not only do you need a diploma, but you are in sore need of basic common sense. The post you commented on was sarcasm, as in humor, and it’s about Barbie dolls. Therefore telling me about email marketing companies is just plain idiotic—Barbie’s don’t email. Plus you made a grave mistake in thinking I want someone to tell me what to do. If you knew me, you’d know that I am the bossy one. So I won’t be visiting your website anytime soon.
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Dear Workout, take a vertical leap off a bridge. But that’s not all I have to say. Literally, you’re a total dumb ass. I have never used a video on any blog post since I began blogging back in 2007. Apparently you have no intelligence to speak of so why bother pretending you can read? Again, take that vertical leap and save all Bloggers the torture of seeing your pitiful comments.
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Oh.Dear.Gawd! Are you serious? Your web-site is about webcam sex and you have the audacity to ask me about my web host? Ever hear of Google? And no, it’s not a sexual position. Pig. The only thing I will recommend to you is to drop off the end of the earth. And take your webcam with you.
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Dear Guitar Solo, you’ve got some gonads. In the blogging world it’s rude to point out spelling mistakes. But I’ll bet dollars to donuts that my posts aren’t rife with them. However, your spelling and grammar are horrendous. Maybe you should get a Beta reader before polluting comment sections with your garbage. And NO, please do NOT come back.
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Dear Tattoo, I’m glad you’re impressed. But I’d rather you be absent much. If I may make a suggestion? Rather than seek sarcasm, search for Rosetta stone, preferably English. Or better yet, use some of that permanent tattoo removal on yourself. Thanks and goodbye.
There you go, folks. Idiotic-stupid-dumbass Spammers who just plop sentences and links into your comment sections which don’t even pertain to your post. They are annoying but they are also amusing.
Go ahead, poke fun at them.
Too bad we can’t poke them with marshmallow sticks.