I'm Not Crazy

Do you hate noises? Cracking gum, smacking lips, teeth scraping over a fork, fingernails tapping on a keyboard and even the clicking of a mouse? And when I say hate, I actually mean you-could-slap-someone-hate-it.

You see, I do. I can’t tolerate those noises and many, many more. I remember feeling like this when I was ten years old. I used to think I was bitchy, but as I got older and my sensitivity to noise grew worse, I began to think I was crazy. I found out today, I’m not a bitch (well, sometimes I can be) and I’m not crazy.

 I have a rare, newly recognized disorder called Misophonia: The strong dislike or hatred of specific sounds. What makes this bad is the noise can set me off. My heart races, my muscles get tight, my stomach and head can hurt, setting off a migraine. And I get angry—very, very angry.

It didn’t make sense because it was just a noise. But apparently the neurons in my brain don’t respond to sound stimuli like other people. I’m relieved to know what it is, but not too happy there isn’t a cure.

 So when you’re around me, don’t chew with your mouth open, crack your gum, tap your fingers, hum, click a mouse, use your fingernails to type on your keyboard, cough, sneeze, snore or breath and I won’t feel the urge to slap you.