Apparently the universe isn’t done clobbering me.
I’ve caught yet another crisis full force with my heart and felt it with every encompassing emotion.
Five o’clock Friday morning my husband woke me because our Boxer, Kommit, was sick. She had some frothy substance pouring out of her mouth and she was acting very strange. I sequestered her in the large crate we keep in our garage until I was able to get hold of our Vet and make an appointment for him to see her.
Once there, my Vet said he wasn’t able to visibly see anything wrong, although she did have a fever which indicated she had some type of infection, so he gave her a shot of antibiotics and gave me a prescription to take home for the weekend.
I was near my parent’s house, so headed there for the rest of the day. The three of us watched Kommit as she walked in circles ALL afternoon but wouldn’t eat or drink. And that night when I brought her home she continued her circle-walking until she stopped suddenly then fell over and had some type of seizure then never stood up again.
I was broken hearted. I had no idea if she was in pain, suffering or even knew who I was, but I kept cooing and talking to her just like I did the time she had been hit by a car. I made her as comfortable as I could then went to bed at one o’clock in the morning. By Saturday she hadn’t changed and I knew something had to be done because she hadn’t eaten or had any water since Thursday and I couldn’t bear to think of her suffering or watch her try to get up anymore.
I knew I had to put her down.
The plans had been made and I was a sobbing heart sick wreck just as I had been with my Boxer Hayley. However the logical part of me knew it was the right thing to do. Kommit hadn’t been acting right for months—she hadn’t been herself and it had come to a head, so to speak and it was time to let her go even though I didn’t want to.
We humans want to hang on to the physical form because it’s all we know. We think that the physical form means more because it’s tangible so we cling ever tightly hoping it will somehow change the inevitable. However, when it’s time to let go, we need to and Kommit’s time was up.
She had that physical form for ten years and I had to let her go, more for her sake than my own. I was okay, she wasn’t and it wasn’t fair to her because I was selfishly trying to keep her on Earth.
She’s at peace now—resting next to Guy, the German Shepherd she used to chase after and try to keep up with.
I’m also at peace even though I’ll miss Kommit with all my heart. I’m at peace though because I gave Kommit a good life. She was with us for ten years and during that time I spoiled and pampered her and in return she loved us and gave us joy and for that I will always be grateful.
Rest in peace Kommit, my peanut, my naptime partner...
I will miss you…