Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Cottage Cheese Please

Lately, as you know, I’ve had one freaken crisis after another. I feel like I’m walking…well running like hell…and the black cloud is racing to be over top of me pouring buckets of rain and golf ball size hail down on my head and my umbrella is useless because it blew inside out due to the hurricane winds.

 I haven’t laughed in weeks, with good reason, and that is simply NOT healthy. I ran out of Vitamin D—along with just about every other damn thing in my pantry since my husband has been slacking with the grocery shopping— so I bought some more, along with Magnesium/Calcium and Probiotics. Magnesium because I used to take it all the time and its supposed to be a natural pain reliever, but I got tired of popping them. Probiotics because I read that if you ever took antibiotics you should take Probiotics to replace your GOOD bacteria. 

All of that sounds a bit nutty, but hey, I never claimed to be sane. And besides if I can’t laugh myself into good health then damn it I’ll take vitamins and minerals until my stomach bursts. Something is gonna get me no one gets out of this alive. 

 As far as my husband slacking with the grocery shopping…he totally sucks at it lately. What the hell is up with all the potato chips, cookies and snack bars? We had no strawberry jelly, yellow mustard, sour cream or cottage cheese! All of MY favorite items, mind you. Is he giving me a hint?

 “We’re out of strawberry jelly!” I said as I shut the refrigerator door.

 “You have that jam your blogger friend sent you.” My husband told me not looking up from the paper.

 “That’s not the point. You didn’t buy me MY jelly. Did you get yellow mustard?” I knew he was partly correct but I needed to make a point.

 “I forgot.”

 “Those are your famous two words ya know,” I told him lightly although inside I was a bit ticked.

 “I got you your ice cream bars.” He batted his baby blue eyes at me almost as if he sensed my irritation from across the room and thought THAT action and some ice cream would make it all better.

 “I didn’t ask for those and besides, everyone eats them. What about my sour cream?” I pouted like a four year old who wanted a toy.

 “Ah…I forgot,” he smiled sheepishly.

 “See.” I pointed at him in affirmation.

 “I’ll get it this weekend.”

 “No you won’t. You’ll forget. I’LL get it THIS week.” I told him half laughing but in all seriousness, he and I both knew I would end up at the store for MY items.

 We ended up laughing about it, which I guess means I DID in fact laugh, but it wasn’t a deep belly laugh.

See! Lately I just cant win. But a laugh is a laugh so I should just be thankful for what I can get. 

Im human though, which means I can have a selfish side, so would someone get me some damn cottage cheese please!



  1. Please laugh.....the thought of our Pam unable to laugh is unacceptable. I'm emailing you a Peanut pic sure to produce at least a chuckle!

    PS....How DARE he use me as an excuse to forget to buy YOUR FAV JELLY! Buttmunch.....

  2. Well Pam, you had ME laughing through this post, so that must mean YOU'RE laughing too!

    Isn't it something how we have to have certain things on hand to eat? I'm the exactly same way. I MUST have peanut butter (the natural kind) and Fuji apples as one of my food staples. And you're gonna die because I too love strawberry jam. In fact, I just bought a jar at Trader Joe's. I like to eat toasted English muffins with strawberry jam. YUM-MY!

    "Probiotics because I read that if you ever took antibiotics you should take Probiotics to replace your GOOD bacteria. "

    You're right about that. When I was taking a strong antibiotic for my tooth abscess last year, I took Probiotics afterwards to replace the GOOD bacteria. However, I didn't take the pills, I took/ate Probiotic yogurt.

    Fun post, my friend! Sending ya a BIG energy hug and a smile....

    ((((((((((( You ))))))))))))))))



  3. I would have thought by now you would have reached the point of knowing that you had better take care of yourself because no one else is. Usually it's the 20 year olds who think their knight on a white horse is going to save them from the world and meet their every need. You know, Snow White, Cinderella and all of that crowd. You are probably like most of us who are a bit longer on the planet and have been programmed to care for other's needs while putting ours on the back burner. We created the monster but sadly, we can't kill it. LOL I was the perfect people pleaser until I was so ill from Sepsis that I was in the hospital and no one came to see me. They called and I would say things like, "I know how busy you are so don't worry about getting up here". Or, "I know money is tight so don't worry about sending flowers." So they didn't. My daughter really was busy keeping up my business and caring for my pets but even she came only twice in the 89 days I was there. The boys each came once and the friend who did come came a couple of times a week and brought her children who I adore. She works full time and has 3 little ones yet she was here all the time bringing cards the kids made or a slice of banana bread. Just little things. I really had to take stock and realized that I had raised these kids to be what they are. I'd always thought the one in the nursing home that no one came to visit must have been a real bitch but I know that I'm not and have never been. I've been the one who dropped everything to run after what ever they needed at the moment. These are kids who are in their 40's, For a while I was so bitter and angry at them that I could hardly stand to be around them but I've talked myself to the place where I know what they are is as much my fault as theirs. You may as well go to the store and get exactly what you need or learn to do without it. Sorry to read you are under so many storm clouds. Everyone I know seems to be in that same spot. I'll not go into my list but just say that my sister and my dog died last week. Niether was expected. By the way, if you get the powdered Mag/Calcium and disolve it in a small amunt of warm water and just chug it down you get much more of the good of it. A study showed that most of the pills go clear through your body and exit having disolved very little. I'll put you into my prayer list. Sounds like you are really under assault. Blessings Gayla

  4. Pam, you crack me up. I used to have the same problem...send them to the store and they come back with only half the stuff you really need (like strawberry jam) but they don't forget ice cream, popcorn or beer! I finally gave up and I order my groceries on-line. Then, the nice friendly man brings the stuff right to your door! I love it.

  5. Well, if it is any consolation, you made me laugh!
    I'm afraid I am the forgetful one in my relationship. Paul always remembers everything and I forget everything. He has decided to find it charming, but I think that thought may have an expiration date.

  6. Grammy, LOVED the Peanut pic! Thank you so much!

    Yeah, how DARE he use YOU as an excuse not to get my fav jelly, even though YOUR jam is delicious!


  7. Ron, that's how I eat my English muffins too! But my bagels I eat with cream cheese and strawberry jelly. That's what started this whole thing.

    I was going to do the Probiotic yogurt but decided I didn't want to "eat" something every day--I would be lazy and pop a pill. Although, I do eat yogurt as a snack! ;-)


  8. Gayla, I do know better! However, I’m a
    recovering co-dependent, so I have to “check” myself at times.

    My goodness, you are having a rough time too. I’m
    so sorry! I hope good energy and positive change comes your way soon.

    Thank you for the “tip” on the powdered Mag/Calcium. I didn’t know it was better that way. I’ll definitely look into
    it. And thank you for the prayers, I need them!


  9. Maureen, I should look into grocery delivery! It sounds like something I'd like. So does Starbucks delivery...wouldn't that be awesome!


  10. Bill, I giggled SO hard at your comment! Then read it to my husband and giggled again.

    I told him from now on anytime he does something I don't like, I'm calling it "charming". I'll be saying that word a lot! ;-)

    Thank you for the LAUGHS!



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