Lately, as you know, I’ve had one freaken crisis after another. I feel like I’m walking…well running like hell…and the black cloud is racing to be over top of me pouring buckets of rain and golf ball size hail down on my head and my umbrella is useless because it blew inside out due to the hurricane winds.
I haven’t laughed in weeks, with good reason, and that is simply NOT healthy. I ran out of Vitamin D—along with just about every other damn thing in my pantry since my husband has been slacking with the grocery shopping— so I bought some more, along with Magnesium/Calcium and Probiotics. Magnesium because I used to take it all the time and it’s supposed to be a natural pain reliever, but I got tired of popping them. Probiotics because I read that if you ever took antibiotics you should take Probiotics to replace your GOOD bacteria.
All of that sounds a bit nutty, but hey, I never claimed to be sane. And besides if I can’t laugh myself into good health then damn it I’ll take vitamins and minerals until my stomach bursts. Something is gonna get me— no one gets out of this alive.
As far as my husband slacking with the grocery shopping…he totally sucks at it lately. What the hell is up with all the potato chips, cookies and snack bars? We had no strawberry jelly, yellow mustard, sour cream or cottage cheese! All of MY favorite items, mind you. Is he giving me a hint?
“We’re out of strawberry jelly!” I said as I shut the refrigerator door.
“You have that jam your blogger friend sent you.” My husband told me not looking up from the paper.
“That’s not the point. You didn’t buy me MY jelly. Did you get yellow mustard?” I knew he was partly correct but I needed to make a point.
“Those are your famous two words ya know,” I told him lightly although inside I was a bit ticked.
“I got you your ice cream bars.” He batted his baby blue eyes at me almost as if he sensed my irritation from across the room and thought THAT action and some ice cream would make it all better.
“I didn’t ask for those and besides, everyone eats them. What about my sour cream?” I pouted like a four year old who wanted a toy.
“Ah…I forgot,” he smiled sheepishly.
“See.” I pointed at him in affirmation.
“I’ll get it this weekend.”
“No you won’t. You’ll forget. I’LL get it THIS week.” I told him half laughing but in all seriousness, he and I both knew I would end up at the store for MY items.
We ended up laughing about it, which I guess means I DID in fact laugh, but it wasn’t a deep belly laugh.
See! Lately I just can’t win. But a laugh is a laugh so I should just be thankful for what I can get.
I’m human though, which means I can have a selfish side, so would someone get me some damn cottage cheese please!