“Ben, look at my necklace and bracelet!” Darbie showed Ben her new pearl jewelry.
“Very nice. Where did you get those?”
“I got them from Jared’s,” she told him.
“Darbie, it’s not your birthday or even Christmas. Why would you get jewelry?” Ben knew she would have what she considered a logical reason to this question even if he never, in his entire life, understood it.
“Because they’re SO pretty!”
He was wrong. This time the reason was utterly stupid. “The pretty reason is getting old, Darbie. And Jarrod really needs to stop with the jewelry.”
“Why? It’s how Jared makes a ton of money.”
“It’s how Jarrod will go broke.”
“Not unless you don’t pay in thirty days.”
“ME pay?” Ben had a sinking suspicion this conversation was going to get muddled like oh so many others.
“Why me?” Yep, totally muddled. Like a cloud of confusion dropped out of the sky and landed in their living room.
“Because YOU pay the bills, and I put it on the American Express card,” Darbie told him, but it wasn’t like he didn’t already know! In fact, HE was the one who elected himself for that crappy job.
“Why would Jarrod pay for my jewelry?” Darbie looked at Ben like he had grown two heads and wondered why on earth he was bringing her cousin into it.
“Because he bought it.”
“He didn’t buy it.” Darbie corrected him, feeling like she was going a bit crazy.
“Yes he did.” Ben asserted.
“No he didn’t, I did,” Darbie told him firmly, wanting to stamp her foot for good measure.
“Darbie, you said Jarrod bought you jewelry.” Why did he always feel like he was speaking a completely different language than his wife?
“Yes you did!” He began to rub his temples.
“When did I say my cousin Jarrod bought my jewelry?” She inquired.
“When I asked where you got it!”
“Yes you DID. You said you got it from Jarrod.” He rubbed his temples more vigorously.
Darbie began to giggle.
“This isn’t funny, Darbie.” Ben felt like he was going nuts and didn’t think the situation was at all funny when all he wanted to know was why he had to pay for jewelry her cousin supposedly purchased for her!
“Oh but it is.” Darbie said giggling some more. “I SAID, I got it FROM Jared’s, the jewelry store.”
Ben stared at Darbie with his mouth open but no words came forth.
“Ben, I think you need to LISTEN to me when I speak. AND read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.”
“And why would I want to do that?”
“So we are both speaking English instead of Martian and Venusian.” She explained sweetly, then sat next to him on the sofa and rested her head next to his.