Being married to my husband for almost twenty-five years but together for over thirty total, AND having read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (hint, hint, wink, wink) I don’t get all bent out of shape when my husband doesn’t HEAR me, or only hears HALF of what I say. I understand his genetic make-up and accept him for who he is—a male, even if there are times I want to wring his neck but refrain from doing so with an I love you dear, through clenched teeth.
I also learned HOW to communicate effectively.
Take Friday, for example. I called him at work, which is rare, as I’m not one of those wives who MUST speak to her husband a bazillion times a day (if I call him at work once a month, that’s A LOT!).
“Hi!” My husband said on the other end of the phone.
“Hi. Do you have a few minutes so I can have your undivided attention?” I asked loud and clear because I KNOW he has hearing problems, especially on a cell phone.
“Ah. Yeah.” I could hear the hesitation in his voice. He KNEW I wanted something. (So much for only women having ESP.)
“Okay. Today after work I NEED you to stop at the pet store. The one by PNC bank and Home Depot and pick up dog food for Berra. I NEED you to do it today because I won’t be home tomorrow so you won’t have the Jeep and Dalan might not be home so you might not have his car either and I know you hate shopping in your work truck.” I was explaining this slowly so he got it all. “I NEED you to do it TODAY after work because you won’t be able to do it tomorrow and you’ll be too tired to do it Sunday and Monday will be too late. As soon as I get a chance I’ll text you the dog food information.”
He chuckled and said, “Okay.”
“Why are you laughing? You know I’m right.”
“I know. I’m laughing because you are right,” He admitted.
“Oh, ha ha. I’ll text you as soon as I get to the bank,” I informed him yet again about the future text.
“For what?” He was teasing me now, something he LOVES to do.
“To give you directions to the dry cleaners,” I teased back using our long time dry cleaner joke.
“Okay. And why did you call again?” He just didn’t let up with the teasing.
“To tell you I love you.” Dork, I added, but to myself, of course.
“I love you too, bye.”
And that folks is HOW I get MY husband to complete tasks that I NEED done. I hate nagging. Not only does it strain my throat, but it gives me a headache. It’s much easier to get him while he’s NOT in front of a television, playing his favorite card game on the computer or getting ready for sleep.
My method is 100% effective too. If I call him and give specific instructions WITH a text message, he can’t deny that he heard me! It’s a win-win, for ME.
So, if you are having Martian-Venusian communication obstacles, give my method a shot, before you