Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Can You Hear Me Now?

Being married to my husband for almost twenty-five years but together for over thirty total, AND having read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus (hint, hint, wink, wink) I don’t get all bent out of shape when my husband doesn’t HEAR me, or only hears HALF of what I say. I understand his genetic make-up and accept him for who he is—a male, even if there are times I want to wring his neck but refrain from doing so with an I love you dear, through clenched teeth.

I also learned HOW to communicate effectively.

 Take Friday, for example. I called him at work, which is rare, as I’m not one of those wives who MUST speak to her husband a bazillion times a day (if I call him at work once a month, that’s A LOT!).

 “Hi!” My husband said on the other end of the phone.

“Hi. Do you have a few minutes so I can have your undivided attention?” I asked loud and clear because I KNOW he has hearing problems, especially on a cell phone.

“Ah. Yeah.” I could hear the hesitation in his voice. He KNEW I wanted something. (So much for only women having ESP.)

“Okay. Today after work I NEED you to stop at the pet store. The one by PNC bank and Home Depot and pick up dog food for Berra. I NEED you to do it today because I won’t be home tomorrow so you won’t have the Jeep and Dalan might not be home so you might not have his car either and I know you hate shopping in your work truck.” I was explaining this slowly so he got it all. “I NEED you to do it TODAY after work because you won’t be able to do it tomorrow and you’ll be too tired to do it Sunday and Monday will be too late. As soon as I get a chance I’ll text you the dog food information.”

He chuckled and said, “Okay.”

“Why are you laughing? You know I’m right.”

“I know. I’m laughing because you are right,” He admitted.

 “Oh, ha ha. I’ll text you as soon as I get to the bank,” I informed him yet again about the future text.

“For what?” He was teasing me now, something he LOVES to do.

“To give you directions to the dry cleaners,” I teased back using our long time dry cleaner joke.

“Okay. And why did you call again?” He just didn’t let up with the teasing.

“To tell you I love you.” Dork, I added, but to myself, of course.

 “I love you too, bye.”


And that folks is HOW I get MY husband to complete tasks that I NEED done. I hate nagging. Not only does it strain my throat, but it gives me a headache. It’s much easier to get him while he’s NOT in front of a television, playing his favorite card game on the computer or getting ready for sleep.

My method is 100% effective too. If I call him and give specific instructions WITH a text message, he can’t deny that he heard me! It’s a win-win, for ME.

 So, if you are having Martian-Venusian communication obstacles, give my method a shot, before you shoot kick him!



  1. HA!!!!! As I was reading through, yet another, brilliant post, I kept a mental tally of everything I've been doing WRONG. Let's just say I lost count! Clearly, My Sweet, you have it down to a science, and a cleverly fun one at that! It's become evident I MUST read that book! I'm only 6 years in, but I get the sneaking feeling things would go far more swimmingly if I took notes! :)

    1. Annie, six years in--that's still the honeymoon phase! hee hee

      Trust me, I've had plenty of practice and TONS of mistakes in 30 years! One day I'll write about the bad and ugly instead of just the good! ;-)

  2. Nicely done Pam; nicely done. You my dear, are an inspiration! I'm up to 14 years but we can all use helpful tips now and then can't we? :)

    1. Bubbe, after 30 freaken years I'm something alright!

      Yes, we can all use helpful tips! I need them still. Men are...um...wonderful...even if sometimes I want to send them back to Mars.

  3. This was so funny. Just what I NEEDED to read TODAY.

    1. Bill, glad I could make your day! We all need that once in awhile!

  4. "My method is 100% effective too. If when I call him and give specific instructions WITH a text message, he can’t deny that he heard me! It’s a win-win, for ME."

    Bwhahahahahahhahahaha! Pamela, that is BRILLIANT!

    See, this is a PERFECT example of WHY I think women are smarter than men. They know exactly how to get what needs done, and do with such finesse!

    You really should write a book because I bet it would be a best seller!

    Great post, dear lady! Hope you had a super day!


    1. Ron, I always tell my husband I can't leave him. Not after 30 years of training!

      A book...hmmm...I'm going to ponder that. It could be interesting, to say the least!

  5. But....but............if I make sure he hears and understands and is therefore unable to screw things up how am I ever going to have anything to hold over his head??? Where's the fun in THAT???

    1. Grammy, when we want to hold things over their heads, we tell them things while wearing a low cut shirt.

      Serves them right for not looking into our EYES while we speak.

  6. I think the book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" Should be REQUIRED reading for every newly wed! That is a fantastic book, and sure does put into perspective a lot of things. Good Post! (Oh and we are 37 years this year!) :))

    1. Mrs. Cravitz, Congrats on 37 years!

      I think the book is really good and it does help with perspective. I also feel that we, as in men AND women, can use all the help we can get. Relationships are hard!

  7. Saw your comments elsewhere and had to have a peek. Good blogging. I read the book. Cheers.

    1. Bill, thanks for stopping by and having a peek.

      That's awesome that you read the book!


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