Thursday, July 5, 2012

I'm A Millionaire Writer With A Horse Head Dagger

Yesterday we went to the Big Butler Fair, a family tradition which began when Dalan was about four years old. We eat junk food, ride rides, play games, buy crazy stuff that is over-priced, pet live-stock and watch fireworks.

One of the games that we’ve been playing for years is the knife game. There are knives stuck into spinning tables and you have to toss two and a half inch rings at the knife handles and if your ring goes over the handle, you win the knife. Over the years we’ve won quite a few knives, and for someone like me who has a phobia with knives, it’s quite strange that I not only play this game, but I actually WANT to WIN at this game.

About two summers ago I saw a horse head dagger that I just had to have. For two years we spent well over a hundred dollars playing this game when I could’ve just purchased the damn dagger for seven bucks on the internet. But hell, half the fun is playing and it is a tradition now to play the knife game at the Big Butler Fair!

So there we were with our basket of rings. We were already thirty dollars into the game with two knives won and about half a dozen rings left when I precisely aimed for that horse head and diligently concentrated, saying to myself, I get the horse knife, I get the horse knife. I tossed that pink ring and it went right over the horse’s head!


 I started dancing, hopping and singing, I wah-on-na! I wah-on-na! Ima win-ner! Ima win-ner! I high fived my husband and sons! Then danced some more! I was so excited! I even had my husband take a picture.

 Then I was all done with the knife game (this year) and went on to purchase something for my Jeep (isn’t it cool!) and a dress, sunglasses for Austin and some awesome cleaning agent.

 My husband said, “I didn’t get anything.”

“What did you want?” I asked him.


“Then stop being a martyr. You can’t cry about not getting anything if you didn’t ask for anything,” I told the whiner him. “Besides, you got two bottles of cleaning liquid.”

“Oh boy!” He said in his sarcastic-jovial-tone.

“Well we could’ve gotten a hot tub today but YOU said no.” I reminded him.

“I have to finish the patio,” He reminded me in a tone that sounded less than jubilant.

 “Okay, finish it then so we can get the hot tub. Problem solved. Aren’t you glad you have me around?” I shot him a dazzling smile.

“Thrilled Honey. But I think Id be a lot richer if you werent.” He gave me a dazzling smile in return. 

THEN I found a million dollars and THAT blew HIS richer theory right out to the horse field! Since I told my husband that I’d share it with him, he got all happy and forgot all about not buying himself anything.

What’s ironic is I’m editing my novel and in MY mind it’s going to be a hit and I’m going to make a million dollars (Hey, don’t knock positive thinking, I DID win that horse head dagger!). I haven’t queried a publisher or an agent yet because until I’m done with editing and feel totally comfortable I just can’t take that step. I know many writers do, but THIS writer is not one of them.

 However, I already have my million dollars! Therefore, in MY mind, I’m a millionaire writer who owns a horse head dagger!



  1. Look at you and that cute little body!  You are a millionare with a million dollar smile and right now, I am flashing my million dollar smile while reading this post. 

  2. Better a Horse Head Dagger in your junk drawer than an actual Horse Head in your the jeep ad btw! 

  3. Aw, Bill, you are so sweet and so good for my ego! 

  4. Grammy, junk drawer my butt. It's going ON my night stand! Intruders beware! Although my 38 Special probably would be a better deterrent...or Berra's barking, but if they didn't heed her bark, she'd just lick them to death ;-)


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