I work three days a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday and only half the day. It works out great because my place of employment is ONLY three minutes from my house, I have NO stress and my bosses are really laid back and for the most part let me do what I want.
I have a morning routine, whether I work or not. I wake up, get myself moving as best I can with my “dis-order”, let the dogs out, and while they are out, I make coffee and get their food ready. I also turn the kitchen television on. I’ll watch either Angel or Fox And Friends until Charmed comes on at eight and it runs for two hours.
Now, on the days I work I can only watch one episode of Charmed since I need to get ready at nine because even though I’m supposed to start work at ten, I don’t get there until ten-thirty so my starting time is ten-thirty as I’m ALWAYS late but I SAY it’s ten so I’m ON time. Make sense? No? Well, how about this, even my family will tell me our get-togethers start an hour EARLIER so that I’m on time (Drives my husband bat shit crazy because he’s ALWAYS early).
Friday I did all my normal morning stuff. I got ready for work, as usual, and when I got into my Jeep I looked at the clock and it read 11:14. My stomach lurched, but then I thought, someone messed with my clock. I grabbed my cell phone and looked at the time, it read 11:14. My stomach lurched again.
“What the hell happened to an hour!” I yelled to no one as my head began to spin and my stomach began to pinch. “I LOST an hour? HOW the hell did THAT happen?” I asked, but no one answered because I was sitting in my Jeep…ALONE.
I called my boss, whom I normally text, but I really needed to TALK to someone because I felt like I was in an alternative universe or something and needed someone to assure me I wasn’t crazy. When he answered, I frantically asked, “Gary, what time is it?”
“It’s quarter after eleven.”
“Oh.my.gawd. I don’t know what happened but I lost an hour!” I all but screamed into the phone.
He told me not to worry, just take my time and he’d see me shortly. That sounded all fine and good, however, I was freaking out because where did the hour GO? I could almost feel myself going into a full blown panic attack so I had to grab hold of myself. I began my deep breathing and self-talk, Relax, Relax. I also replayed my morning in my head.
I got up. Made coffee. Fed the Dogs. Watched Charmed— CHARMED!
I watched TWO episodes of CHARMED!
What the hell was I thinking?
Obviously I was NOT thinking!
At least I wasn’t crazy!
Once calm, I drove to Starbucks, got my usual latte, then headed to work. I walked into the office and told my boss. “Well, I don’t have Alzheimer’s. I have stupidity.”
“I don’t know why I did this, but instead of only watching ONE episode of Charmed, I decided to watch TWO! Which meant I didn’t begin to get ready for work until ten! That’s where the damn hour went.”
I’m glad I had a stupid moment, or stupid hour, in this case, rather than an actual memory lapse. I can NOT imagine what it would feel like to actually have blacked out or lost a chunk of my memory. Until I realized what had actually happened, I thought I had lost my mind. It was one of the most frightening experiences I’ve had in a long time.
I can honestly say I’m so thankful I have my memory and while I joke about losing my mind and being nuts, I do it lightly and I would NEVER make light of those who DO have actual conditions where they live with this fear day in and day out.
I just want to say I’m SO grateful for my sanity, even if it sometimes goes on Siesta.