Thursday, May 17, 2012

Another Part Of My Journey

One of my biggest fears is the fear of rejection. Not of ME, of my writing. I’ve written two children’s stories, two romance novels, short stories and flash fiction—none of which have seen the light of day.

I think the reason I worry more about my writing being rejected is because it’s such a profound part of me. I believe every writer’s craft is his baby and if it’s not received well, it’s as if his child has been offended, which, in my opinion, is a lot worse than one’s self being wounded. I can handle condemnation of MYSELF, goodness knows I’ve had enough of it in my lifetime, however, if my writing is criticized…well, let’s just say I’ve always been afraid of THAT.

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I can’t let this fear stop my creative process. Plus I think I’m undergoing a metamorphosis of sorts. I’ve been on a personal journey for awhile now and I believe that part of that journey is to face my fears. And what’s the worst that can happen if I send out my work? It gets rejected. So what. Stephen King was rejected forty-one times before HE was published.

 It’s not like a publisher or agent is going to advertise that I suck. They’ll just send a letter or slip saying nope, not for us. I can save it in a folder, frame it or burn it in my chiminea. But if I don’t at least TRY, I’m failing without even leaving the gate.

 I don’t know if I have talent for short stories, memoirs, novels, blogging, or heck maybe I have none at all. All I DO know is I NEED to write. I have stories running through my head ALL the time. They scream to be written; I can’t silence them. I’ve tried NOT writing, but I couldn’t do it for more than a day. I’m always writing something, or typing. I still have a typewriter, for goodness sake!

 I don’t know where this path will take me or where I’ll end up. I just know something is calling me and it’s louder than it’s ever been and if I don’t answer it, I’ll go nuts. Well, nuttier than I already am.

With all that being said, and a lot left unsaid, I’m going to post some of my work here, on my blog. What I need from YOU is complete honesty. Yes, honesty. If you don’t like it, my grammar is bad, dialogue doesn’t flow, or something just doesn’t sound right, I need YOU to give me your opinion. Yes, I know I said I was afraid, but that’s why I’m doing this. I need to face my fear and what better way than on the World Wide Web!

 Stay tuned for the first flash fiction story, The Rival, coming soon.



  1. You go Pam!  And you have echoed everything in my mind.  I need to write, I have stories in my head, but I am terrified of rejection.  I'm not going to let that stop me either.  Actually, I have already been rejected multiple times, so I am well on my way, if I am following Stephen King's path.  Just sent out a couple of essays yesterday.  Let's motivate each other!

  2. Bill, writers NEED to write and I tell my husband and sons all the time. I'm not sure they get it though. I guess only creative people truly understand. 

    I'm SO excited you submitted essays! Let me know how that goes! 

    I'd love for us to be each others "motivators". Positive words of encouragement go a long way, especially from friends who also write! 

    Thank you!

  3. It's so ironic how you and I are on similar paths at the moment, Pam!

    And it's also ironic how my post topic for tomorrow is slightly similar.
    As I shared at the beginning of this year, 2012 is going to be a year of change and movement for me, which will involve FEAR. I'm an extremely fearful person, but realize that this is part of why I'm on this earth this time around. To face my fears. As much as LOVED my time in acting, I feared the SHIT of it. There were sometimes I didn't have the courage to walk out on that stage, but I did. And yes, it was the fear rejection. But I realized something, no matter how well or not well my performance was on any particular night, some people liked it and others did not.

    I think (for me, anyway), the fear of rejection comes from the fear of not doing my best.

    And yet, really...what IS the best?

    It's as you shared...."All I DO know is I NEED to write."

    And it was the same for me with my acting. All I knew is that I NEEDED to act.

    So I did it. And I finally came to period in my career where as long as I knew that I gave it MY best....I was happy.

    And it was funny, because as soon as I started adapting that to my acting, my career took off.

    Now mind you, there were MANY times when I still got terrible reviews about my performances by newspaper critics, but as long as knew I gave it MY best, I was okay with accepting a negative review.

    "I just know something is calling me and it’s louder than it’s ever been and if I don’t answer it, I’ll go nuts. Well, nuttier than I already am."

    So go for it, Pam! And write with your God-given talent and passion. 

    And know in your're giving it YOUR best!

    (((( You ))))

    I can't WAIT to read your stories here!

    X ya, my friend!

  4. Ron, I don’t think it amazes me anymore how much you and I
    are alike AND on similar paths! It’s also so great having someone who truly
    understands me, my passion and my transition.


    Creative people are different, in a good way, as far as I’m concerned,
    but different, none-the-less, and we really do need to express ourselves but it’s
    that “fear” that sometimes holds us back because when we express ourselves, we’re
    baring our souls.


    I understand what you mean by doing your “best”. I do that
    to the extreme. I call it being “anal”. I think I need to let up a bit and
    enjoy the creative process more. Maybe if I do that, I won’t be so fearful.


    Thank you, my dear friend, for your encouragement and for



  5.  You sure you want honesty Pam?     I love you like a sister and I'd hate like hell to give you an honest assessment and end up making you mad and me feeling like a jerk.

  6. Joe, and I love you like a brother which is why you are smart to fear my wrath! ;-)

  7. Well, that was the other reason.

  8. I used to want to be an author, and I did a lot of research on writing, and every successful author always said EXACTLY what you said in your post.  The biggest and hardest part you can already do!  The next biggest part is being persistent.  Just keep trying, no matter what.  I'll be your cheerleader for as long as you like!

  9. Jo, I'm reading a book right now and even the most successful writers are afraid of rejection!  I guess it's just human nature, huh?

    I can't think of a better "cheerleader"! So thank you!



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