Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Apparently I'm Too Stupid

I’m an extremely responsible, organized, detail oriented person, therefore when I make an appointment, I don’t forget about nor do I miss it. The reason for this is I write it in my day-timer, on my wall calendar AND on a post-it, which I hang right beneath the kitchen cabinet where I sit and drink my coffee so I see it each and every morning until the appointment day when I pull the post-it down and toss it in the trash.

I can get annoyed when I receive a call from a doctor or dentist office confirming my appointment on such and such day at such and such time. I get even more annoyed when I receive a confirmation text message about an appointment, but I tell the office to remove my cell phone number from my file and figure that will be that. I go beyond annoyed and right to pissed off when my HUSBAND receives a text message on his WORK cell phone to confirm MY appointment. 

Yep. My damn dentist’s office not only left a gawsh damn message on my answering machine but they also sent a damn text to my husband’s work’s cell phone confirming MY appointment. I’m ticked because it’s MY appointment. What gives them the right to divulge MY personal information to anyone but me? 

Dont misunderstand, I tell my husband everything and he knows about all my appointments, but THEY don’t know that. What if I were having an affair with my dentist and I didn’t want my husband to know I was going to the dentist office to see my lover? That text message could’ve clued him in! 

 Or what if my husband was a controlling son-of-a-bitch who didn’t want me having my teeth cleaned and I was sneaking out to have it done. That text message could’ve sent him over the edge and he couldve locked me in the basement we don’t have with no food, and gawd forbid, NO coffee! 

 See, my entire life could be a living hell right now all because the damn dentist office sent a text to a cell phone that didn’t belong to me! Sons-a-bitches.

Besides, the confirmation calls and texts are such a pain! I have to get up from the computer, go to the kitchen, pick up the phone, listen to whomever REMIND me I have an appointment, because apparently Im stupid and cant remember on my own, then I hang up, and since Im in the kitchen, Im near the back sliding door, so I want a cigarette and then my train of thought is all screwed up. Sons-a-bitches messed with my blog! I should charge them! 

Can I sue for blog interruption?

 In all honesty, though, it really makes me mad because Im forty-six, not six. Plus, I’ve never missed an appointment with them in over twenty years! 

 I could see if I were ten years old. Well, no, actually I couldn’t, because I didn’t miss appointments then either. My dad would make my dentist appointment then call me and tell me when it was and since I lived within walking distance, I walked my ass to my dentist. I couldn’t rely on my mother; I HAD to rely on myself. See, IM responsible! And have been so since I was little. 

Now I could see if I was constantly missing appointments. Well, no, actually I couldn’t. Because if I was constantly missing appointments that would be costing them money so they would’ve dropped me by now. Besides, if I HAD to cancel, it would be right before the damn appointment because it would be an emergency, so a confirmation call or text is absolutely useless! 

I cannot think of one good reason for a confirmation call or text! Other than the receptionist needs something to do. Which is not my problem—give her some filing or let her play Free Cell on the computer.

Apparently THEY are the stupid ones.

Dumb asses.



  1. " What if I were having an affair with my dentist and I didn’t want my husband to know I was going to the dentist office to see my lover? That text message could’ve clued him in! "

    Bwhahahahahahahaha! Pamela, that made me spew my morning coffee. HILARIOUS!

    I so hear you on this because my dentists' office does the same thing! I had a teeth cleaning appointment in March which I made back in September. Now I can understand them calling me a week before the appointment as a reminder, but I started receiving phone calls AND emails AND mailed postcards a MONTH before my appointment to remind me. Funny, I actually DID call to cancel the appointment a week before my cleaning date because something came up. However....since then, I've received countless phones AND emails AND mailed postcards to remind me to call to reschedule my appointment - UGH!

    Thank GOD I don't have a cell phone because I would scream if I also got text messages!

    Great post, my friend!

    Happy Thursday....X

    1. Ron, I totally forgot about the stupid post cards! I get them too! Imagine the mool they'd save on postage! ;-)

  2. I don't think I've EVER been tempted to have an affair with any of my dentists over the years. One of my eye doctors though...yum!

    Yeah, it does sound like they don't have enough to do. But it made a great blog post!

    1. Bubbe, I have a really cute eye doctor too! Dr. Huffman...yum...I mean, he's really nice!

  3. Uh-oh, I think they are doing that for me. Even though I put it on my calendar, I don't look ahead at my calendar. So, when they call the day before, I'm always like "What? Thank goodness you called me!" They are calling you because of lame asses like me. Sorry, Pamela. But if you need a cover, tell your husband you were with me, and we went shoe shopping.

    1. Bill, since it's YOUR fault they bug the hell out of me, you can buy the latte's when we go shoe shopping! ;-)

  4. Pamela, You crack me up!


    p.s. Thanks for the nice comment on the article written about me. You're a doll!

    1. Mo, glad you get some giggles!

      And you're welcome!

  5. Ummmmm, unless you signed a HIPPA form authorizing them to release your medical information to your Husband (or anyone else) I'm pretty certain that is a violation of the HIPPA policy....GET 'EM PAM!

    1. Grammy, Oh that damn HIPPA form pisses me off! ARGH!

  6. this is hilarious!
    and so true
    I recently asked the hair salon why they call and text me and they said because too many people are no shows and it's easier to call everyone than to only call the ones who usually don't show
    I got scared because for a second this made sense to me then I remembered I have a brain

    I came to tell you how fantastic and adorable your photo on Ron's blog is!!

    1. "...then I remembered I have a brain"

      Dianne, apparently my dentist doesn't think that I do!

      Can you believe my son was only 5 years old in that picture! Where has the time gone?! Thank you SO much for stopping by to tell me you like the photo! That is so nice of you.

  7. I love this post. I am one of those who DO forget my appointments even AFTER they call and remind me! But having worked in a doctor's office, I think that part of the reason for the confirmation call is that when you remind them sometimes people WILL say "Oh, I have to cancel, good thing you called!" and then they are free to fill that appointment. Also they can then feel free to charge you for a missed appointment if you don't show up because they confirmed!

    Stopping by from Ron's blog. Loved the picture!

    1. Peg, that kind of makes sense, EXCEPT I don't do that! lol. Aw, yes the almighty dollar!

      Thanks for the compliment on my picture. So sweet of you to take the time to stop over and let me know you like it!


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