Tuesday, February 14, 2012

My Valentines


Valentine’s Day is for love and lovers, or at least that’s what Hallmark tells us (encouraging us to cough up $5 or more on a card written by someone else—ever hear of Picasa?) and it’s also right THERE, on my calendar: Valentine’s Day.

As if MY husband is going to feel guilty for not spending double the money on flowers that will die in a few days, countless bucks on candy that can add extra pounds during the time of year when a lot of people tend to gain the most weight, keep you up all friggin night or make you break out with a bazillion pimples as if you were going through puberty once again. No thanks.

If I don’t know by NOW that HE loves ME, no happy-sappy Hallmark card, dozen or more red roses or a heart-shaped box of Sarris chocolates is going to tell me.

What I DO have that tells me every day that my husband loves me is HIM, and our two beautiful sons that he and I share together. 

Dalan and Austin are MY valentines EVERY day. It’s hard to believe they are nineteen and fourteen. Dalan is graduated from high school, graduated from Army basic training and will soon be off to college. Austin is in ninth grade and has his first official girlfriend!

Last night he called me and asked, “Mom, you know how tomorrow is Valentine’s Day?”

“Yes I do.” I couldnt help but think it must be important, he didnt TEXT me, he CALLED me!

“I want to get Suzy something.” (Her name isnt Suzy but he WILL get ticked if I write her REAL name! Hell probably get ticked because I wrote this in the first place, but hell, I NEED material for this damn blog, kid.)

“What are you thinking?”

“Like a necklace or bracelet or something.”

 I couldn’t help but smile to myself; however, he’s FOURTEEN, so jewelry is a bit inappropriate at this age. Not wanting to burst his love-bubble, I said, “How about I pick you up and we go to the Hallmark store. They have all kinds of gifty things, even candy.”

Yes, I know I kinda mocked Hallmark at the beginning of this post, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like Hallmark. I like it just fine. Hallmark has great collectibles and I enjoy its movie channeleven if their cards are a bazillion dollars!

I digress.

Austin and I did go to our local Hallmark where he picked out a chocolate heart-shaped box filled with assorted chocolates and a little white bear holding a red heart. He did find a card, too (yeah I’m a sucker when it comes to my boys). It was a cutesy card, perfect for a fourteen year old. I mean really, it’s not like he’s going to marry this girl—well, he better NOT be thinking of marriage!

I told him I thought it was nice that he wanted to give his girlfriend a valentine and that his dad and I used to do that too but after almost twenty-five years of marriage, we’d rather go out to a nice dinner (which we’ll do this weekend when my husband’s not tired from working).

After we got home, I found red roses in my older son’s room. I wasn’t surprised. He’s thoughtful, having watched his dad surprise me over the years. I’m sure his girlfriend will be thrilled.


 It’s bittersweet, my boys will always be MY valentines, and I used to be theirs, but now they have their own, because mommy isn’t the center of their universe anymore. That’s okay; I get it. It means I’ve been doing my job. I’ve been raising them to be emotionally-healthy, independent, respectful young men. And if their actions now are any indication of how theyll treat their future significant others, then Im doing A-okay!

One day they will both be married and they will have families of their own (or at least I think they will) and the decisions will be a lot more difficult than red roses or a box of chocolates.

 But I WILL be here for them. They are my valentines but they are also my SONS and through thick and thin, rough or smooth, Im their mom and will have their backs because they will always have my heart.


 

8 comments:

  1. Sweetheart, you're gonna make me cry! I'm constantly thinking of these things when I look at my wee ones (5 and 2). Already wise beyond years with the snark to match! ha! But I absolutely love (and agree with) everything you said here.... it's our actions in life, not just those tokens on set days of the year.

    There was a fantastic line in a sitcom my husband and I watch:
    Wife: "Why don't you tell me you love me all the time?"
    Husband: "I told you that the day we married, I'll let you know if anything changes"

    My husband instantly identified, which was rather silly since he does tell me and show me every day. I only hope he knows and feels the same from me :)

    Happy Valentine's Day, Gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wife: "Why don't you tell me you love me all the time?"
      Husband: "I told you that the day we married, I'll let you know if anything changes"


      Annie, LOVE that!

      I actually don't want to be TOLD--ACTIONS speak so much louder than words!

      Delete
  2. Perfect! I feel the same way about my six kids. While I don't always "get" their choices, I love them SO much. Happy Valentine's Day Pam! Thanks for the reminder!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bubbe, as parents, we won't always "get" our kids' choices, but isn't that what makes them so special! They have minds of their own. :-)

      Delete
  3. Oh, what a SWEET Valentine's Day post, Pamela!

    TOTALLY warmed my heart and made me smile!

    Those photos of you and your sons are ADORABLE!!!!

    "That’s okay; I get it. It means I’ve been doing my job. I’ve been raising them to be emotionally-healthy, independent, respectful young men. And if their actions now are any indication of how they’ll treat their future significant others, then I’m doing A-okay!"

    Right on!

    And you're also right about this.....

    "What I DO have that tells me every day that my husband loves me is HIM, and our two beautiful sons that he and I share together."

    Amen!

    HAPPY VALENTINE'S Day, dear lady!

    X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ron, those photos are in frames on the top of my curio because I just LOVE them (my boys too, but the photos are two of my favorites)!

      ((Hugs))

      Delete
  4. You know....any chocolate you get can be sent to me and I'll...um.....dispose of it for you.

    Big hugs, and hope you had a lovely day yesterday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jo, I can do that, since I'm not a HUGE chocolate person. I like it, but I don't "crave" it a whole lot.

      Delete

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