When my bio-mother passed away July 13, 2004, I couldn’t help but think there would be no eulogy. That knowledge made me feel sad, because even though I hadn’t referred to her as “Mum” in years and didn’t “love” her, she was a person and deserved SOMEONE to say SOMETHING!
I wracked my brains. WHAT could I say to the woman who bore me but had given me so much pain?
I cleared my mind and came up with this, which I did read at the church:
Many of you know that the relationship I had with my mother was rocky, to say the least. There were many years of my adult life that we didn’t even speak to one another. I’m not going to soil her memory with the whys. Rather, I’m going to share with you some of the good things I remember about my mother.
She loved music. Not in the manner a musician loves it, she loved lyrics. If a song had lyrics that meant something to her, she would listen to the song repeatedly while rocking in her treasured rocking chair.
My mother had a very pleasant singing voice. I can recall her singing to us as children while swinging on the swing in our yard, or sitting on her lap in her rocking chair. The song that I remember most is Frog Went A Courtin’. When she sang to us, she put her heart into it and you could almost visualize Froggie knocking on Miss Mouse’s door.
She was very animated and spontaneous and shared her sense of humor with us many times. She was blessed with a vivid imagination, a gift few possess, and she definitely missed her calling as she could’ve written a blockbuster novel.
She loved nice clothes, and took great pride in how she looked. As a young girl and even a teenager, I remember my mother fixing her hair and putting on make-up. I used to watch her, and as many young girls, couldn’t wait until it was my turn to wear lipstick. I wanted to be grown up and wear some of her clothes. I recall one item vividly. It was a navy blue boat-neck top that had a plastic multi-colored star in the middle. I loved that top. I used to pull it out of her closet and stare at it. I asked her if she would save it for me when I was old enough to wear it. Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough, it didn’t fit quite right. But the fact that she saved it and gave it to me is a memory I will always remember.
She was creative and loved to decorate the house. The curtains had to match the rugs which matched the slip covers which matched the doilies and pictures and knick-knacks were strategically placed throughout the house. Someone once told me that when you decorate your home you were expressing yourself. If this is true, then my mother was colorful, methodical, and vivacious.
But above all, my mother created perfection; she gave life to five children. My mother always felt she had to be rich or famous to leave her mark on the world. She didn’t realize that she had left her mark, not once, but FIVE times.
For this I say, “Thank you, Mum, may you rest in peace.”