Monday, June 17, 2013

Now I Have A Police Record



I’ve had dogs all my life. I’ve also trained my own dogs. My boxers were the best. Not only were they quiet, as in they barely barked, they were also smart. They did all sorts of tricks, Kommit even sneezed on command. They stayed in our yard without leashes too. Many people walking past our house asked if we had an electric fence. We don’t.

 Madea, our German Shepherd mix, is also intelligent. She barks but only if she thinks there’s a threat. Berra is smart. But she thinks leaves blowing in the back yard are a threat. The bitch darling thinks everything is a threat. And she knows I don’t like her yipping because she’ll bark then duck her head as if to say, “Oops, my bad, Mommy. But I just couldn’t help myself.”

 Berra also likes to test me by leaving the yard. She walks out of the driveway and barks at people pushing their baby strollers. I don’t know why she does this, because she’s anti-social. People will put their hands down to greet her and she’ll back away with her hair sticking up and bark as if she’s the meanest dog on earth. Except she only attacks moths and stink bugs.

 I have to watch her like a hawk when we’re in the front yard because as soon as I turn my back, she heads for the street. Almost like she’s pissed the plants are getting my attention. And if dogs are smart enough to cut off their noses to spite their faces...Berra did just that.

 The other night I received a call on my cell phone. It was from the Chief of Police. He asked, “Is this Pam?”

 Of course I said yes.

 He proceeded to tell me that he received an anonymous complaint about my dogs going into the street and barking at people who walked by. I had to clarify dogs, as in plural, because Madea doesn’t do that. She stops at the end of our driveway and she doesn’t bark unless she’s in the house and someone comes to the door. However, Berra barks at everything and she has gone into the street and barked at people.

 Damn her.

My perfect record was shot.

 I explained to the Chief that Berra was a yipper and it pissed me off but I didn’t leave her unattended, ever. Although there were a few times she did get out of the yard but she’d never hurt anyone. I told him I did understand that a barking dog in the street could scare some people when they didn’t know the dog and from now on I would leash her when we were out front. He was pleased with this solution.

 After the call ended I looked at Berra and said, “You got me in trouble. And now you’ll be on a leash.”

 She wagged her tail.

Probably because I was talking to her...again, or would that be still?

 Then it dawned on me, the Chief called my cell phone and never used my last name.

 He must’ve gotten the information from the NSA.


 

6 comments:

  1. "Then it dawned on me, the Chief called my cell phone and never used my last name.
    He must’ve gotten the information from the NSA."

    OMG...isn't that SCARY, Pam? To think that we can be SPIED on? I'm wondering if they do this with landline phones as well, because I don't have a cell phone, however I AM with Verizon.

    SCA-RY!

    "Madea, our German Shepherd mix, is also intelligent. She barks but only if she thinks there’s a threat."

    I agree! When I was a kid, our family had German Shepherd's and they are soooooooo intelligent and will only bark when there's a threat. All the German Shepherd's we had we AMAZING watch dogs, but at the same time, very gentle and sweet.

    LOVE the photo of Berra. She is so cute!

    Have a FAB week, my friend! We're getting a lot rain this week, I hear. But at least it's keeping the high heat at bay.

    ((((((( You ))))))
    X

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  2. Heh heh...CRIMINAL

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  3. Grammy, think I can get my jumpsuit in pink? I don't look good in orange.

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  4. Ron, yes I do think they can listen in on landlines. I have Verizon, too, for my cell phone, but I think it's all cell phone providers. Did you ever hear of the black boxes in cars now? Look it up. They are spying on us with everything.

    Oh yes, German Shepherd's are amazing. My dad had one who was a gentle giant. Madea is such a sweetie. She's so good with Berra too. Very tolerant.

    Berra IS cute, isn't she. And sooo spoiled. Good thing I love her!!

    I heard rain this week too! I think we're gonna have a wet summer. Boo!!

    ((HUGS))

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  5. Oh Pam, that was too funny! Miss you hun! I had to get back to blogging with all the crap happening with this Obama administration! Hope you are feeling well!!!!

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  6. Hi Jennifer! So good to see you.

    I've been super busy. Hoping things will slow down a bit. Hope you are feeling better.

    As far as our politicians...I say throw all of them out and let's start over. I'm so frustrated with the lot of them.

    ReplyDelete

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