It’s been awhile. And when I say awhile, I mean it! Sorry I’ve been away so long. I’ve been quite busy. But what better way to come back than with a Spammer letter. And this one is just as golden (wink, wink) as all the others!
Dear Sir/Madam, We are Africa Gold Miners from Kisangani Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC)in Central Africa. I don’t recall asking what the heck you do or where you’re from. But, congratulations all the same! We have huge quantity of alluvial Gold Dust for sale at a considerable price of $16,500USD per kilo,Nuggets $27.000USD per kilo,bar $28.000USD 22 Carats at 93-98 purity which is below world market price because we recently decided to expand our business scope internationally and are on the move of building our customer and partnership network. We want only reliable and serious buyer or broker for a long term business relationship.
Let me get this straight. You have a HUGE supply of GOLD DUST. Like the dust from the Gold Rush days that everyone and their brother was rushing to the West for back in the 1800’s? Back when they had pack mules and gold essay offices? And where exactly do you think I’d take this dust to now-a-days? And you have bars of gold. AND you have 22 carat gold. Gold at 93-98 purity. Did you know that 22 carat IS 98% pure gold? Or did you think that I wouldn’t know that so you threw some high numbers in there hoping I’d think, “Wow! This is fantastic! Some guy from Africa emailed ME! From the 300 million people in the United States, he wants ME!”
Yeah. I mean, no. I’m not stupid.
But I’m sure you can find some stupid schmuck in our population to help you expand your business scope internationally since you are on the move of building your customer and partnership network.
I am not interested now or ever. Not if you have a full or even a partial co-operate offer. I wouldn’t do this if you paid a 100% commission. This just plain sucks.
Don’t look forward to anything, especially a long lasting business transaction. Nothing is negotiable. I wouldn’t email you for all the coffee at Starbucks and oh DEAR GAWD! I just threw up in my mouth thinking about SKYPING you!
If I could, I’d have you arrested, thrown behind bars and the key melted into your forehead, you scum-bucket-spammer!
But since I can’t do any that, I’ll just have my fun typing this knowing my friends will get a chuckle and knowing they too won’t be stupid enough to fall for your crap.
First, Pam....WELCOME BACK, MY FRIEND!!!!! I was so happy and excited to see that you post tonight, I RAN over!
ReplyDeleteSecond, your retort to this email was STELLAR!!!!!
" Did you know that 22 carat IS 98% pure gold? Or did you think that I wouldn’t know that so you threw some high numbers in there hoping I’d think, “Wow! This is fantastic! Some guy from Africa emailed ME! From the 300 million people in the United States, he wants ME!”
Bwhahahahahahahaha! LOVED THAT!!!!
It amazes me how these spammers actually think that people will fall for this, and maybe some people do, but OMG...so many of these spam emails are written so stupidly; making you think that YOU'RE the ONLY one they're interested in. And yet, they start off with, "Dear Sir/Madam", so you know it's like a major mail out to anyone who will bite.
And speaking of Skype, I keep getting spam emails from some country in the Middle East, yet I closed my Skype account years ago. There is something about Skype I don't trust.
Anyway, my friend, great to see you back and thanks for a FUN post! Have a great rest of your week!
((((((( You )))))))
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Hi Pam!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to stop by to wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!
Have a FANTABULOUS day, my friend!
((((((((((((((( You )))))))))))))))
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