Then I began reading the book and realized it’s not about writing uncensored. It’s about writing like we talk and banishing our inner critic. I like the idea of banishing my inner critic. It’s been too loud lately. Ha! Who am I kidding. It’s been loud all my life.
But lately I can’t seem to write a darn thing I like. No matter what I write—Nope, not good enough. Or, Nope, that’s boring. And if I do manage to get a piece done, I rip it apart. I’m terribly hard on myself. I think it has to be perfect. Whatever that even means.
Oh, and when I don’t write—which is often— I tell myself it’s writer’s block. Well, the author, Joel Saltzman, says that writer’s block is really perfectionist’s block. It’s a way for us perfectionists to avoid writing because we never think it’s good enough, or it’s never going to be good enough. We make excuses: We have to research. Answer emails. Pour another cup of coffee. Rewrite that scene.
Bingo! That’s so me! So now that I know the problem, I can fix it.
No, I lied.
I can attempt to fix it.
Hello, I’m Pamela and I’m a perfectionist and it’s going to take time to fix my tendency to want to be perfect. And I may never fix it. I may have to accept that I’ll always want to be perfect but I won’t ever be perfect.
In the meantime, I have to let go and do what I love and that’s write. No matter what it’s about—just write.
So, here I am—writing, because it brings me happiness.
What makes you happy?