Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Search Keywords For Blog Success~ Or A Giggle

Have you ever checked the Search Keywords for your blog? They can be quite…well…weird. Or should I say, MINE can be weird. I realize that Search Engines crawl my site, I believe it’s Search Engine Optimization or SEO, although I’m not sure how optimal my little ‘ole blog is. I also know that the words used in my blog post titles and posts are how people find my blog according to what they plug into their Search Engines— but seriously, do people REALLY plug this stuff into their Search Engines? (That’s rhetorical because obviously they DO!)

Nevertheless, some of the Search Keywords used to find my blog are amusing and I thought I’d share, since I’m so selfless and all.

 Crazy woman gets paid. I’ve been told I’m crazy—Twisted Sister, from my loving brothers, to be exact, and I do write about craziness... A LOT, although I have yet to write about getting reimbursed for being a crazy woman.  I’d like to know, though, HOW I can BE a crazy woman who gets paid! THAT would be pretty damn awesome!

Crazy woman running loose. Okay, here we go again with the crazy woman crap. I get it; I write about being a crazy woman—a lot. Check. As far as running loose. Well, I suppose since I’m NOT locked in my house, or handcuffed to the pipes in my basement, I’m looseMaybe I should discontinue the crazy talk—someone might call those people with the pretty white buckled jackets—no running then, loose or otherwise!

 Germany in summer and winter at the same time. Now THIS is just plain dumb. WHERE is it EVER summer AND winter at the SAME damn time? And when have I EVER written such a thing, let alone in Germany. I’m a SUMMER type gal, even if I AM crazy as a loon!

I like porn. Get YOUR mind out of the gutter and into the laundry room! Because I LIKE laundry room porn people!

 Roman Nickman. Yep, I wrote about HIM and his stupid ass Secret Spy name. Janet really dropped the ball on THAT one and STILL owes MY email eight million dollars!

Winter good night funny. WHAT for the love of Pete is a winter good night funny? Gawd! I did NOT write about sex on a winter night and say I laughed, did I? PLEASE tell me I didn’t. 

I’m not getting up. Seriously? Did I EVER say I wasn’t getting up? NO, I did NOT. I might have said I didn’t WANT to get up. Who the hell types that into a Google search? I’m not getting upgetting up WHAT? Getting up the stairs? Getting up on the roof? Getting up for work? I could go on but it would just put your dirty minds back in the gutter and it took me this long to clean them in the laundry room!

 Flesh puppies. You all know I have a new puppy (the consensus is she’s adorable). You all know that she likes to bite my flesh. But FLESH puppies? I didn’t buy a FLESH puppy; I bought a FURRY puppy. What the hell is flesh puppy anyway? Or are they looking for a flesh-eating puppy, in which case, they came to the right blog. Berra LOVES flesh. Especially MINE. Although, for the right price, I would be willing to let her eat your flesh. SEE, I COULD be a crazy woman who gets paid!

 What do your blog’s Search Keywords say about your blog?

Come on, tell me, tell me— I’m a crazy woman running loose hoping to get paid! Although, even if you DO tell me your Search Keywords, they won't guarantee me any monetary compensation. They can give me a few laughs though and THOSE are priceless!



  1. Funny....and how is your flesh puppy doing?

    1. Mo, Berra is great! We're the ones exhausted! ;-)

  2. I'm so happy to know that I'm not the only one with really weird search keywords!! Some of mine I had to take screenshots of because my friends didn't believe me. The Internet is a funny place but I'm grateful for it :D

    1. Nate, I sometimes wonder what the heck I did BEFORE the internet! But I can honestly say, I'd rather HAVE it than NOT, even with weird search keywords! ;-)

  3. "Winter good night funny. WHAT for the love of Pete is a winter good night funny? Gawd! I did NOT write about sex on a winter night and say I laughed, did I? PLEASE tell me I didn’t."

    Bwhahahahahhahahahahaha! Pamela, you crack me the hell up woman!!!!

    It's funny the things you discover while checking search words that land people on our blogs, isn't it? I use to have the Feedjit widget on my blog, and every once in a while I would check it just to see what people were searching for that brought them to a particular post of mine. I can't remember the exact post it was, but one time I saw that someone did a Google search for Tying my husband to the bed post.....I KID YOU NOT!!!!!

    Great post, dear lady. Thanks for the Thursday morning laughs!

    1. "...but one time I saw that someone did a Google search for Tying my husband to the bed post....

      Ron, Makes ya wonder about the person who typed THAT into a search engine! Hopefully "the husband" had a "winter good night funny"...oh wait, that should be FUN, I meant FUN! ;-)


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