Christmas is over and I had a great day, so one would think I’d have so much to write—so much to say, however, my thoughts are a jumbled mess. I suppose that’s because within a two or three day span, I experienced something (actually 2 somethings!) that made me feel sad.
I can’t even explain what happened because that would require me actually being able to string coherent sentences together and right now I don’t believe I’m able to do that. Oh, I know exactly why I feel the way I do, who caused it and what would make me feel better, but to articulate all of it would require a great deal of effort on my part and quite frankly, I don’t want to expend the energy.
That probably sounds so rude but one thing I learned is never to lie to myself. I also learned that we can’t change anyone except ourselves. I’m not going to expend precious time on issues I have no real control over. Yes, I can FEEL hurt and sad but expressing those feelings doesn’t mean it’s going to change. I need to DEAL with it. Sometimes that means just having a pity party for a day or so. I deserve that once in a while, as long as I don't get into a rut!
The important thing for me to remember is it won’t last forever. And heck, it will probably happen again, so next time I’ll be prepared! Not a lot of comfort because I sure don't want to feel hurt or sad, but it’s a part of life. With the good there is sometimes bad. I just have to hope there’s more good than bad.
Right now I feel down but tomorrow I’ll feel up and maybe I’ll be able to articulate all of it better…
or not.
Time will tell. Or maybe I will.
Until then,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
And I wouldn't mind being able to articulate my thoughts...
I'm just sayin...
Written on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 8:46 PM
ReplyDeletePamela, I'm so sorry that you've been sad, but I'm glad that you're going ahead and allowing yourself to feel it and move forward, that beats the heck out of bottling it up.
And sometimes, our thoughts don't articulate until we're ready. I hope you feel better soon, and that things improve.
Give me a holler if you need a shoulder, I've always got one available!
Hugs,
Jo
Thank you, Jo! You're so sweet.
DeleteYou're right, if I bottled it all up, I could explode! Not good! lol!
Written on Wednesday, December 28, 2011 10:49 AM
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Pamela!
And I think you articulated your thoughts beautifully because you shared such insightful wisdom...
"one thing I learned is never to lie to myself."
" I also learned that we can’t change anyone except ourselves."
"Sometimes that means just having a pity party for a day or so. I deserve that once in a while, as long as I don't get into a rut!"
" With the good there is sometimes bad. I just have to hope there’s more good than bad."
I so agree with all those things.
I adore the serenity prayer, and will often repeat it to myself whenever I'm going through a challenge. My biggest obstacle has always been in..."and the wisdom to know the difference."
Sending ya a big hug, dear lady....
(((( Pamela )))))
And thank you for your honesty!
X
Wow, I didn't realize I actually did make some sense! Thanks for pointing that out, Ron, you're awesome like that though.
DeleteYes, the Serenity Prayer has helped me, too. My biggest obstacle is the "accepting" part.