Christmas is over and I had a great day, so one would think I’d have so much to write—so much to say, however, my thoughts are a jumbled mess. I suppose that’s because within a two or three day span, I experienced something (actually 2 somethings!) that made me feel sad.
I can’t even explain what happened because that would require me actually being able to string coherent sentences together and right now I don’t believe I’m able to do that. Oh, I know exactly why I feel the way I do, who caused it and what would make me feel better, but to articulate all of it would require a great deal of effort on my part and quite frankly, I don’t want to expend the energy.
That probably sounds so rude but one thing I learned is never to lie to myself. I also learned that we can’t change anyone except ourselves. I’m not going to expend precious time on issues I have no real control over. Yes, I can FEEL hurt and sad but expressing those feelings doesn’t mean it’s going to change. I need to DEAL with it. Sometimes that means just having a pity party for a day or so. I deserve that once in a while, as long as I don't get into a rut!
The important thing for me to remember is it won’t last forever. And heck, it will probably happen again, so next time I’ll be prepared! Not a lot of comfort because I sure don't want to feel hurt or sad, but it’s a part of life. With the good there is sometimes bad. I just have to hope there’s more good than bad.
Right now I feel down but tomorrow I’ll feel up and maybe I’ll be able to articulate all of it better…
Time will tell. Or maybe I will.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
And I wouldn't mind being able to articulate my thoughts...
I'm just sayin...